Guys, Miller Lite wants you to lust. Their new ad campaign features women in bathing suits rushing to "rescue" men who are foolishly drinking other light beers. Whether they admit it or not, they are using sex – the lustful thoughts and fascination of men – to sell their product.
Girls, the makers of Twilight want you to lust. They want you to pour over the books and hungrily devour the cheap and idealized romance they feature. They want you to be fascinated by Jacob's shirtless body so that you pay $10 to watch the movie – even though you feel a little guilty about it.
Guys and girls, Satan wants you to lust. But he doesn't want it to look like a full frontal attack on your soul. He wants to plant seeds in your heart, mind, and imagination in movies here and there. He wants to tell you stories through books, magazines, and friends that contain the message: it's ok; it's normal. He doesn't want you to know that lust is poison. Satan doesn't want you to think clearly enough to realize that lust is lethal; it hijacks true love and can easily damage your soul and put you in danger of God's wrath.
I define "lust" as: any overtly sexual fantasy, thought, imagination, look, or action, that is entertained outside of the bounds of marriage. Notice a couple things about that definition. First, I don't define lust as sexual "desire." You all have sexual desires. God gave you those! God – the Creator of all things good (including marriage and sex!) – gave you sexual desire. It is not bad to want to have sex; the vast majority of you will be married some day and will be able to glorify God by having sex with your husband or wife exclusively. Notice also that I used the word "entertained." Guys, God does not stand to condemn you for noticing a beautiful woman. You'd have to walk around with your eyes closed to avoid that! The sin comes when sexual fantasies, thoughts, or imaginations about that woman are "entertained" by you in an active way – assuming that woman is not your wife. Girls, God does not stand to condemn you for watching a movie that stars a man you find physically attractive. The sin comes when you "entertain" sexual thoughts about that man – assuming that man is not your husband.
In addition to this definition of lust, let me add that sexual lust is also necessarily selfish. It is driven by a self-focus that is dominated by self-seeking appetites. Lust is actually not a twisted form of love; it is the opposite of love! It is making a person a sexual object – perhaps even more like a piece of food – that you want to consume solely for your own benefit and appetite. When people lust, they are totally turned inward – consumed by their selfish appetites. Love – even sexual love within the bounds of marriage – is beautiful because it takes us outside of ourselves. True love is not about our own selfish appetites; it is about the good of the other person.
Notice that Jesus' words about lust are the basis for my definition. Here is what he says in Matthew 5:27-28:
You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Here Jesus quotes what the Old Testament Law says about adultery (that is, having a sexual relationship outside of marriage). But then he takes it to another level; he says that anyone who has had adultery in his or her mind is just as guilty. In other words, a sexual fantasy about a woman makes a guy just as guilty before God as an actual sexual affair. A sexual fantasy about a man makes a girl just as guilty before God as an actual sexual affair. I've said this before: It's hard to follow Jesus! He calls his people to an incredibly high standard of holiness and purity. He calls us to be people whose thoughts – as well as their actions – are completely pure and in obedience to him. He asks a lot of people who follow him!
There are many of you all here tonight who are struggling with lust. You know who you are. You know the guilt that the sin of lust can cause. It makes you feel guilty; it's hard to pray; it's hard to look your Christian friends in the eye; it makes you want to hide. If you're feeling burdened and guilty because of the sin of lust tonight, you know that lust is a poison.
Others of you are not struggling with lust – you are just giving in to it completely. The group I just mentioned before have enough guilt; you guys need to start feeling some guilt. Here are just a few forms that the sin of lust can take:
Those of you who are feeling guilty about the sin of lust (in whatever form it is taking in your life) have probably tried in a lot of ways to defeat this sin. You've stopped watching "R" rated movies. You've blocked websites on your computer. You've prayed to God and committed to try harder and do better. And yet, you can't seem to find the antidote to the poisonous sin of lust that keeps creeping into your life.
An antidote is a substance which can counteract a form of poisoning. It is not hard to see how the poison of lust can easily take over our lives and hurt our hearts and souls. And it's also not hard to see – based on Jesus' incredibly high standard for purity (even in our minds) – that most of us are guilty of being affected by this poison. So what do we do?
We start by going back to Jesus' words just a few verses before he starts talking about lust. He says this about the Law:
Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished. Therefore whoever relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
The glorious truth about Jesus' teaching – his high call to his people that demands their total holiness, obedience, and purity – is that Jesus has already done the work for us! Jesus is the one who was perfectly faithful as a human being (who is also fully God) to God's Law. He perfectly fulfilled the Law, and now stands as our righteousness before God. A great way to remember this glorious gospel truth is with this phrase: "He lived the life we should have lived, and died the death we should have died." Jesus is our righteousness; he is perfectly holy even though we can never be perfectly holy in this life. Jesus is our substitute; he paid for our sin eternally so that we never have to face God's ultimate wrath for our sin.
That message – the message of the gospel – calls you to put your faith in Jesus. Jesus stands ready to offer you the greatest trade in history: His righteousness for your sin. He wants to take the penalty of your sin on himself and, in exchange, clothe you in holiness and righteousness that will allow you to stand in the presence of an infinitely holy God.
The amazing thing is this: when we accept Jesus, he gives us the Holy Spirit to indwell us – or live inside of us. When we give ourselves to Jesus as our Savior and Lord, we for the very first time in our lives are actually able to live holy lives. We are able to say no to lust because He lives in us; we can live holy lives because of Jesus. In other words, the way we should take Jesus' teaching is this:
Now, if all this is true, what is the antidote to the poison of lust? Is it staying away from "R" rated movies? That might help, but it won't counteract poison. Is it having accountability? That's a good thing, but accountability won't change your heart. Is it modifying the settings on your internet? Again, that doesn't get at the root problem of the poisonous sin of lust. What is the only antidote to lust? It's being filled with Jesus. It's loving him more and more. It's embracing the gospel with joy – living as a forgiven person who is free from the power of sin by the power of the Holy Spirit. In other words, the root cause of lust is not images, movies, internet sites, or clothing: it's a failure to worship Jesus fully with all that you are! A person who is so consumed with Jesus – so taken and infatuated with loving their Savior and Lord – simply does not have room for lust. Being fully satisfied and filled by Jesus is the only lasting antidote to the poisonous sin of lust.
We are talking not of behavior modification, but of heart transformation. Jesus wants your behavior to change, but that can't happen until your heart has been changed. And the only way the sinful human heart can ever change is by letting Jesus in.
Think back with me to the selfish focus of lust that we discussed earlier – that sexual lust is necessarily selfish… all about satisfying our own appetites. It is almost like we are – in lusting – munching on food scraps that will ultimately make us sick. The glorious alternative is, as John Piper would put it, "feasting" on God and all of his beauty, majesty, and grace. When we feast on God – when we are consumed with his glory – we find that there is no longer any room or appetite for munching on dirty scraps that will make us sick. And, we find that selfless love – even sex – becomes a part of our enjoying and loving God in the context of our marriage. Sex itself becomes about loving another person – not about selfish appetite.
