When people are in love, they tend to speak about their love in very intense ways. One person might exclaim, "I ache for him." Another might observe, "I love her so much it hurts." And all of us who have truly been in love have probably said – or at least felt – about the person we love, that we could be with them FOREVER. Being in love makes you talk – and think – that way. You feel like you want to be in a relationship with the person you love FOREVER.
What Jesus says in Matthew 22:30, then, may be slightly surprising to us. He is talking about people in heaven – after the resurrection. He says that these people "neither marry nor are given in marriage." What? Marriage won't last forever? You mean, even though I feel so in love with my wife now, I won't be able to stay in a marriage relationship with her forever? Why not?
I would like to suggest that we see Revelation 21:1-4 as the main answer to that question. Take a moment, first, to READ through those 4 verses from Revelation 21.
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more.
First, we need to see that marriage, like every part of our lives, should be viewed in light of the END. How we understand the END…changes everything about our perspective. When a person watches the television show 24, it is fairly obvious that (if the show will continue into the next episode) Jack Bauer is not going to be killed. He is the star of the show, after all! That changes one's perspective from wondering IF Jack will be killed, to wondering HOW he's going to get out of whatever dangerous situation he's in.
Understanding the END of this world – where this earth is headed – should change our perspective on everything in life as well…including marriage. There will come a day when God will create for his people a "new heaven and new earth," and the first heaven and first earth (this earth!) will pass away! Think about that. This earth, and all of the institutions on it, will be no more. We need to remember that this earth – and human marriage – is passing away. We are moving very quickly toward the end of all things.
And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.
Second, we need to see that marriage should always be understood in light of the REAL marriage to which it points. This verse speaks of a REAL, an ULTIMATE, marriage that will be so much greater and more fulfilling than human marriage, which can only faintly point to this cosmic marriage between God and the people he has redeemed through Christ. My family has an old Christmas tradition in gift-giving. When someone gives another person a gift that cannot be "wrapped up" – something like a massage, a night in a hotel, or a magazine subscription – they will attach a note to a wrapped box that says, "This is only a symbol." Inside the box will be some symbol or sign that points to the present that has been given; if it is a night in a hotel, perhaps the box would contain a picture of a nice hotel from a magazine. The picture is "only a symbol" of the real gift, which could never be contained in a box. That's the idea in this verse. Human marriage is "only a symbol" – it points to a far greater marriage, which will be between God and the bride that has been perfectly clothed and prepared to live in lasting "marriage" with him.
The holy city – new Jerusalem – is the CHURCH. This is the description for all of God's people! The ceremonial marriage language in this verse is impossible to miss. God's people are described as a bride adorned for husband (more on this later). This is the ultimate, perfect, lasting marriage, for which human marriage is only a symbol.
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.'
Third, we need to see from this passage that the real marriage will be BETTER than, to borrow a phrase from John Piper, this "momentary marriage." The relationship that is described in these verses – the "marriage" between God and his people – is one that will be infinitely greater, purer, and more beautiful than even the best loving human relationship. My wife, Jeanne, is a big fan of the band U2. She'll often listen to them on her iPod as she runs or does work around the house. But, a couple summers ago, we had the opportunity to hear U2 perform live at Soldier field. I know that Jeanne would tell you that listening to U2 on her iPod was not even CLOSE to hearing them perform live in that stadium, as we were surrounded by thousands of people singing their songs at the top of their lungs. That is the idea I'm trying to get across here; there is no comparison between the "marriage" between God and his people, and even the best human marriage.
Two things should jump out at us in these verses – two ways that the "marriage" with God is so much better. First, in verse 3, we see the RELATIONSHIP between God and his people finally being perfectly fulfilled. God finally dwells with his people permanently, perfectly, and fully. It is the fulfillment of all God's promises to his people – that he will be with them as their GOD. Then, look again at verse 4. What is missing from the perfect marriage relationship between God and his people? SIN! Sin, which leads to all kind of pain, crying, and problems in even the best human marriage, will finally be wiped away. God's people will finally have the experience of a perfect relationship – with their Creator – that is not marred by sin.
All of us – even the guys – are brides! So, the most important marriage we should all be preparing for is the marriage between God and his people…the church…his bride. Look again at verse 3 – "God will dwell with them, and they will be his people." How can a HOLY God dwell with sinful people? He can't, unless they have been WASHED – made holy – by Jesus. Are you ready to be Jesus' bride? Have you accepted his death for you, and been clothed in his righteousness (ie. rightly "adorned")? Are you ready to meet him? Are you prepared for that wedding?
The best way to get ready for human marriage is to (surprise!) make sure that you're getting ready for the ultimate marriage relationship – eternity with Christ. If you are growing closer to Jesus – accepting his death for your sins and walking with him in his resurrected life – you are doing a great job getting ready to be a godly husband or wife. Also, start planning to marry someone who is also committed to, first, getting ready for REAL marriage. In other words, find someone who understands that marriage is not the ultimate thing – meeting Jesus is!
Don't let yourself look toward marriage as the time/place when you will finally find fulfillment, joy, and total belonging. Don't look to marriage as the time when you will finally start really growing in Christ or pursuing maturity as a Christian. Don't look to marriage as the place where you will finally feel perfectly loved. If you are looking to marriage to fulfill all of your deepest needs, then you are making a temporary thing an ultimate thing – looking to it to fulfill the needs you have that only GOD can fulfill. And, you're in for a disappointment when you realize that no human being will EVER be able to perfectly fulfill you like God can. But…
Marriage is not to be idolized, but it is also not to be taken lightly. More than a civil union, more than just the "next thing" after college, marriage is something that has been created and intentionally designed by God to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church and point to the lasting marriage between God and his people forever in heaven! Marriage is a BIG deal. Protect it. Defend it. Save yourself (sexually, emotionally, etc.) for it! Start praying now that your marriage one day would be something that reflects the gospel of Jesus Christ and helps your spouse get ready for a lasting relationship with God.
